Before my second gout attack, which was three weeks ago, I was not sure if I had become an alcoholic or not. Sure, I loved drinking. When my cousin visited us, him and I killed a bottle of XO or Patrón. At family reunions, we drank bottles after bottles for a week. I loved all-inclusive vacations because I could drink all day long.
At home I liked to a glass of Gin and Tonic, Screw Driver, or Rum and Coke when I felt stressed out or when my wife made some delicious dishes. I also liked to sip Cointreau on ice and experimenting with different cocktail recipes. Every time I visited a liquor store, I charged hundreds of dollars to my credit card.
I did not think that I got to the point of addiction. I was simply enjoying myself and with others. Drinking had become a way for me to be socialized. I am not anti-social. I just don’t know how to be social. I feel awkward when talking with people. My life is boring and I have nothing to talk about. I am not into American sports and I am sure people have no interest in what I do. Alcohol, however, is a different beast. When drinking with someone, I can more intimate. For instance, one of my coworkers is a drinker. I did not know anything about him until we started drinking together at special occasions at work. When I drank with my cousin, we reminisced on the good old days. When I drink with my in-laws, we had a blast. Alcohol gives drinkers a special bond.
With gout, I had determined to give up drinking completely. My social life will be sucked even more, but my health is even more important. I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol for three weeks and I haven’t missed it. I can live without it, which means I was not an alcoholic yet. Just before my first gout attack, which was in January, I drank a bottle of Hornitos Limeshot all by myself in three days. I loved the taste so much I couldn’t resist. In retrospect, that might had caused the first flare. I did not believe the foot doctor when she told me I have gout; therefore, I went back to my normal diet and drinking. The second flare confirmed that I am now fucked.