Thirty-Eight

I am thirty-eight today and I have gout. Both of my feet are killing me. Life is over if I don’t have a loving, supporting family. From diet to remedy, my wife has done everything she could to help me deal with my pain. On top of that, she takes care of all of the boys in the house. My sons are blessed with a wonderful mom and I am super lucky to have a fantastic wife. She is the anchor of this family.

I gave myself forty, but my body is already falling apart at thirty-eight. What’s next? High blood pressure? High cholesterol? Diabetes? Strokes? Cancer? Something is going to take over my body soon.

I used to think that when that time comes I’ll deal with it. Now I feel like it is already here and ready to explode anytime. As a result, I want to spend as much time with my family while I still can because life’s a bitch and you never know when you will go.

Just earlier this week, I already failed my duty. For the past couple of weeks, our daily routine was walking with my sons from our house to the school’s playground. I would push Xuân’s stroller while Đạo and Đán would tag along. Đạo had always looked forward that time after school. I couldn’t do it this week because my gout flared up and it was way too painful to walk. Đạo got upset even though I explained to him the reason I could not do it. Although his frustration is unreasonable, I felt that I had let him down. I need to be physically capable of being with them.

Then again, at thirty-eight I am glad that I am the only one that is suffering. My wife and three sons are healthy. Seeing the kids grow day by day is a joy. My mom and my mother-in-law are doing good. Raising three boys without my mother-in-law would have been extremely difficult. I am thankful everyday for her presence. All the grandsons (five and one more on the way) love her. She had helped raised every single one of them. She has such a loving heart.

As for my mom, she has some health issues, but she seems to take care of herself while helping out my sister and her two kids. I feel guilty for not being around her much these days, but not a second that I don’t think of her.

For my birthday wish, I want nothing more than good health for my little family. I love them way too much.