My Dear Đán

You must be thinking that I am being too strict on you or that I don’t love you. My dear child, I love you more than life itself and I would provide you anything I could in the world, but I also need you to know the limitation. You might get what you need, but you can’t always get what you want.

When I came to pick you up on Monday, you looked into your lunch bag and didn’t see your juice. You snapped and cried. Your favorite teacher, Miss Melissa who is pregnant, picked you up to see why you cried and you said you wanted juice. I didn’t want her to carry a 37-pound boy while holding another baby in her bell so I took you from her and promised you that we would go to the store to get some juice. You calmed down and we headed to Trader’s Joe. You enjoyed pushing the baby shopping cart around while I picked up some snacks. When we headed to the juice section, you picked out your favorite lemonade packs. We went to pay and the the cashier gave you some stickers for being a good boy. In the car, I gave you your lemonade box and you finished it in just a few minutes. We went home to have dinner.

Last night as we walked to our car to go home, you wanted us to go to the store to get more juice. I said that we had nice and cool lemonade at home waiting for you to drink, but you insisted that you wanted to go buy some juice. You started hitting me with your bag of trains. I took it away and you broke down and cried. You sat on the sidewalk and refused to walk. Other kids starring at you and their parents told them to keep on walking. As I walked off toward our car, you got up and ran after me.

As we got into the car, you kicked and screamed. I remained silent, focused on driving and waited for you to cool down. When we reached to the point I thought I could talk to you I said that, “Mommy is making some chocolate cookies at home for you and Đạo. Do you like cookie?” You responded, “Yes, I like some cookies with my lemonade.” You were fine again.

I could have taken you back to the store, but I didn’t want you to get the idea that we have to go to the store everyday. It hurt me more to be strict with you, but I am doing it for your own good. You might think that I treat you unfairly because you could see that your cousin could get whatever he wanted and you don’t. I made that mistake with Đạo when he was going through the same phrase that you are facing and it took him a long time to get his self-control together. I need you to get over it the sooner the better.

Being a parent is very hard. You will go through this when you become a father yourself. Now I understand why I was spanked at home and at school when I was a kid. I did learn to be disciplined. Time has changed and the roles have reversed. You hit me with your bag of trains just like other kids hitting their parents I have witnessed. When you grow older you’ll learn how disrespect that is do to to your parents. Just because your parents don’t hit you back doesn’t mean other kids your age won’t. So learn to keep your hands to yourself will prevent you from getting hurts from other kids.

I am writing this letter to you on my iPhone while watching you sleep like a little angel. I love you so much my dear and I hope you will understand why I did what I did. I am not a great parent, but I do the best I can.