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Boyz ‘N The Poop

Fellows, if you want to become a better man, you first have to become a father. With all the poops you have to put up with, you would have no problem dealing with all the other shit in the world.

Ladies, if you want to punish your men, keep breastfeeding your kid, especially the newborn. My wife is nursing my little son every hour. After he’s done eating she would handed him over to me. He would curl into my arm and make a really cute face then drop a few pooping farts. I think my wife is making some cruel revenge against me.

Changing the little guy’s diaper isn’t a huge problem at all because I got a really fantastic helper. As soon as I placed Dan on the changing station, Dao ran into the kitchen to get his stool so he could stand tall next to me. He then pulled out a new diaper, a piece of wipe, a jar of Vaseline and a piece of tissue. Dao learned very early on that a tissue is needed to prevent the little one from peeing on him. After I am done changing, Dao would take the dirty diaper and throw it into the trash can.

That was not so bad until Dao would say, “Daddy, my turn.” So we both headed toward the bathroom. Whenever I take the diaper off him, he would ask, “let me see.” Once I showed him his poop, one of his frequent comment would be, “I pooped a lot.” One time he said “cookie” and another time he said “hamburger.” I just couldn’t stop laughing at this little fella’s imagination. We never knew what word would come out of his mouth.

This morning before we head out of the house he said, “Dao thui thui” (stinky stinky). So I had to take off my jacket, hat and roll up my sleeves to do one more job before going to work. As we headed toward the car, a trash truck pulled up. He said to the truck, “Thung rac (trash) truck, where is my iPod?” I was puzzled for a second until I realized that about a month ago I confiscated the iPod from him because he kept throwing it when he got mad. I warned him a couple of times, but he didn’t learn his lesson so I took it away and said that, “You keep throwing the iPod; therefore, you must not want it so I thrown it in the trash can.”

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