All By Himself

After hitting the publish button on my last post about my dad, my phone rang. A cousin in Viet Nam called and we talked briefly about my dad. Since his retirement, he seems bored and lonely. He doesn’t go anywhere and just stays in the house his older brother provided to him.

One of the strengths on my dad side of the family is that they take great care of each other. Even my gambling uncle is provided with care. As long as he doesn’t gamble, he could have a place to stay. I appreciate the family’s structure and foundation. We respect the elders from the top down through many generations. My dad once told me that his oldest brother is like his parent after my grandparents passed away. The problem with my dad though he doesn’t know how to balance between his big family and his immediate family. The result is that we always come second to his big family.

That was his decision and as a son all that I can do is respecting his choice. Even now when is all by himself, he doesn’t even express that to me. Our communication is totally wrecked. I was thinking to myself yesterday. What if I just take two or three weeks off go back to Viet Nam and just lock myself in with him 24/7. We’ll just hang out and travel together as father and son, something we had never done. Will that help reconnect our relationship?

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