I am Weaker Than a Two-Month Old

Lil Duke had me good last night. He literally got me whipped. It was midnight and he still didn’t want to sleep. He was crying in his crib. I didn’t want to wake up his grandma who has been with him during the day and his mom who has been struggling at work due to lack of sleep; therefore, I got up and patted him a little. It didn’t help and he cried louder.

I picked him up and rocked him a bit until he felt back to sleep. Half an hour later I tried to put him back down, but he was brawling again. I picked him back up and went downstairs. I tried to sit on the couch and rest, but he wouldn’t let me. I had to walk around the house. Around one something, I was so burnt out. I put him on the kid mat where he usually played in the morning and laid next to him. He started to cry and I determined to let him cried out. I consulted the doctor and he told me it was ok to let him cry. Eventually he would get tired and fall asleep. Half an hour went by and his cries crescendoed.

I couldn’t let him go on any further. His cry was like a knife cutting straight through my heart and mind. My head was pounding and my soul was shattered. I gave up. I held him tight into my arms and the guilt of letting him cried took over me. I didn’t know what to do. If you’ve been through this, please advise.