R. Kelly – Double Up

Fuck Global Warming. R. Kelly’s heavy-sexualized Double Up is hotter than hell and more polluting than any climate crisis on earth. The days of bump and grind are long gone. Fellows, he’s done with fucking your wife and being trapped in the closet. Ladies, he’s no longer interested in just sticking his key into your ignition, but your girlfriend’s as well. As declared on the title track, he’s about to double up with two chicks, one in each joint.

Kelly is one sick motherfucker, but he doesn’t give a fuck. With his sultry voice lyricizing graphical contents over rousing beats, the R&B singer never fails to touch the G-spot. Even after he was caught on camera boning and pissing on a minor, and although he could face serious jail time if proven guilty, he still makes mad freaky recordings. On “The Zoo,” he boasts, “Girl, I got you so wet like a rain forest.” He sure rained on her with his urination. Then on “Sex Planet” he claims to touch your soul once he entered your black hole. Would you trust this pedophile? Sure you would.

On one side, Kelly could make inspirational records if he wants to. His mega hit for the Space Jam soundtrack, “I Believe I Can Fly,” was selected as a theme song for my class in high school. On the new album, he wrote, “Rise Up,” a heartfelt tribute to the Virginia Tech tragedy as well as “Havin’ a Baby,” a joy of being a father. On the flip side, he could be a real misogynist dickhead too. It’s disheartening to a hear the same guy who encouraged you with “I believe I can fly / I believe I can touch the sky / I think about it every night and day / Spread my wings and fly away” then turned around and dropped in your face with “Fuck me? Girl, fuck you. / … / The next time your ass gets horny / Go fuck one of your funky-ass friends. / Hell, you’ve probably doing that shit anyway.” But hey, that’s the multi-talented R. Kelly.