Asia 51 – Tinh Khuc Sau Cuoc Chien

As I am reading a review on Asia 51: Tinh Khuc Sau Cuoc Chien written by Viet Hai, I am wondering if Asia productions had paid him to pen it or he is just up in their ass. In the intro, he stated that Asia have stepped up their game after their last big-bang show on Tran Thien Thanh. Give me a break. Asia folks are not only stepping in the same place, but they are also taking a leap backward with the latest release. The theme, Tinh Khuc Sau Cuoc Chien, they came up was just to give them a reason to squeeze more cash out of old tunes.

The music arrangements in this video don’t sound any better than what they had done before, and the pairing up of singers makes absolutely no sense at all. Don Ho with chinky Barbie? She’s not even cute, and her sissy, ditsy voice is still annoying. Le Thu and Da Nhat Yen is like a before and after diet commercial. Le Thu is what you look like before, and Da Nhat Yen is what you will look like after. Before, you’re fat but you can sing. After, you’re loosing weight as well as voice. The good part is that DNY still got the groove. What the hell is up with Lam Thuy Van, posing like she’s ready to be boned? Who wants to bone that gladiator anyway? The mash-up between her and Ngoc Lan is horrendous. Asia musical producers have been using that technique a bit too much. Then they have seven sexless guys trying to be sexy (suit jacket without under shirt) on “Anh Van Biet.” Get the fuck out the here. And don’t you want to pull that dog-haired wig off Kim Anh’s head? I thought Doanh Doanh was bad, she is even worse: old, plastic-molded Barbie.

Speaking of old women, why don’t they act their age? Hearing the way Thanh Lan talks and laughs just ruined the strong-minded image I had for her on the previous opening video. Mama, you ain’t 16 no more. The same goes with Thao My. Not sure what she’s showing because she got none. Please cover them up, forty-year-old breasts are for your man, not the public. I have enough of Mai Le Huyen trying to get her move on. Does she need a dickslap in order for her to stand still or something? Is Asia blind or they are being dumb? I love the way Y Phuong starts off “Tra No Tinh Xa” with a bluesy feel until MLH comes in and fucks it all up with her screaming. By the time the arrangement is all rocked up, Y Phuong’s strong vocals can’t even save the track. Nothing but excessive noise filled up the stage.

The solo pieces are disappointing as well. Nguyen Khang’s rendition of “Rong Reu” is nothing invigorating. In fact, it has some of Tuan Ngoc’s resemblances. Particularly when he glides into the offbeat technique, something even Tuan Ngoc couldn’t pull off. (If you listen to Tuan Ngoc’s version of “Rong Reu,” “Ban Tinh Cuoi,” and “Bien Nho,” you’ll see how he attempts to sing the off-key style. Not sure if it is because of our Vietnamese language, but it doesn’t sound right. The only person who could sing off key and sound natural is Billie Holiday. Her timing had always been perfect.) Back to solo performers, is Bang Tam faking or what? She’s weeping out with water running down her noise, and she didn’t even wipe it. If you want to make the audience feels emotional, you have to convey it through your voice not necessarily your face—unless you’re an actor not singer. In “Cai Co,” I hear nothing in her voice because she sings the entire song with one tone, and yet she’s all cried out. The facial expression doesn’t go with the musical expression at all. Even if she has cried for real, she still looks phony to me.

The theme for Asia 51 is to embrace “golden music.” I have no problem with music of Ngo Thuy Mien, Tran Quang Nam, Nguyen Trung Cang, and Duc Huy being called “nhac vang” after the war. But when they profiled Trish’s music in this category, and called Cardin’s shit as music of our future, we have a big fucking problem. (And let me not get into that little midget with the “Viet Pride” tagged on his jacket. How lame is that?)