Fuck Global Warming. R. Kelly’s heavy-sexualized Double Up is hotter than hell and more polluting than any climate crisis on earth. The days of bump and grind are long gone. Fellows, he’s done with fucking your wife and being trapped in the closet. Ladies, he’s no longer interested in just sticking his key into your ignition, but your girlfriend’s as well. As declared on the title track, he’s about to double up with two chicks, one in each joint.

Kelly is one sick motherfucker, but he doesn’t give a fuck. With his sultry voice lyricizing graphical contents over rousing beats, the R&B singer never fails to touch the G-spot. Even after he was caught on camera boning and pissing on a minor, and although he could face serious jail time if proven guilty, he still makes mad freaky recordings. On “The Zoo,” he boasts, “Girl, I got you so wet like a rain forest.” He sure rained on her with his urination. Then on “Sex Planet” he claims to touch your soul once he entered your black hole. Would you trust this pedophile? Sure you would.

On one side, Kelly could make inspirational records if he wants to. His mega hit for the Space Jam soundtrack, “I Believe I Can Fly,” was selected as a theme song for my class in high school. On the new album, he wrote, “Rise Up,” a heartfelt tribute to the Virginia Tech tragedy as well as “Havin’ a Baby,” a joy of being a father. On the flip side, he could be a real misogynist dickhead too. It’s disheartening to a hear the same guy who encouraged you with “I believe I can fly / I believe I can touch the sky / I think about it every night and day / Spread my wings and fly away” then turned around and dropped in your face with “Fuck me? Girl, fuck you. / … / The next time your ass gets horny / Go fuck one of your funky-ass friends. / Hell, you’ve probably doing that shit anyway.” But hey, that’s the multi-talented R. Kelly.

In the liner notes of I’ll Be Seeing You: A Sentimental Journey, a tribute to her mother, Regina Carter writes, “Sometimes when it rains, it pours, but the sun does eventually come out.” From the happy-feet opening of Edvard Grieg’s “Anitra’s Dance” to the melodious composition of Duke Ellington’s “Blue Rose,” Carter and her musicians confirmed that the sun has shined again. While the effervescent scat singing of Dee Dee Bridgewater brings a blissful vibe to Richard Rogers and Lorenz Hart’s “This Can’t Be Love,” Carter makes her violin swing on “A-Tisket, A-Tasket,” as if Lady Ella was bringing down the house. This recording has indeed provided me with a little sunshine. Thank Ms. Carter (and brother Trong as well for hooking me up with the album).

In Dong Thoi Gian (1960s), Ice Ice Lady brings a bit of flavors, including the cha cha-tempo “Hoa Xoan Ben Them Cu” (Tuan Khanh) and lyrical ballad (nhac tru tinh) “Nua Dem Ngoai Pho” (Truc Phuong) to her repertoire. Her truth forte, however, remains with those intimate, slow-burning standards such as Trinh Cong Son’s “Phoi Pha,” Le Uyen Phuong’s “Vung Lay Cua Chung Ta” and Vu Thanh An’s “Tinh Khuc Thu Nhat.” Loving both the orchestrations and her behind-the-beat singings on those numbers.

Word up, Boo!

The best part of Quynh Vi’s final performance on Paris By Night Talent Show is not her impressive rendition of Trinh Cong Son’s “Mua Hong,” but watching her and Ky Duyen’s facial expression after Huynh Thi pulled some shit out of his ass. Not only he stuttered the way through, but also tried to fluff his way out by criticizing how “Mua Hong” has such a wide range that she couldn’t cover. Don’t you just love it when people make Trinh’s music sounded like it’s the most sophisticated piece of composition they have ever heard? Yet “Mua Hong” is just one of his straightforward, lyrical ballads. He also pointed out that she has chosen the wrong tune. What would you suggest, Mr. Thuy Nga’s Producer? Some melodrama shit like “Nguoi Ay va Toi, Anh Chon Ai?” so she could start ripping off her garments? Or should she have done what Trinh Lam did with Hoang Thi Tho’s “Mot Lan Cuoi” by turning it into a fucked-up, shouting jazz? That was the worse fusion I had ever heard, like eating pancakes with fish sauce, but you loved it. Come on man, sit your ass back in your executive chair.

With a track list filled with happy titles including “Get Happy,” “Happy Talk,” “Make Someone Happy,” and “Smile,” you would think that you’ll get a joyful treat from Tierney Sutton’s newest album. But On the Other Side of happiness is what Sutton goes for. Remember, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. / You make me happy, when skies are gray?” It was one of the most tuneful songs for kids, but Sutton isn’t singing it for the kids. She brings such a sad and doleful tone to the tune that when she ends with, “please don’t take my sunshine away,” you would feel as if she’s begging you not to take away her only hope. It takes risks to cover a standard, but it takes ball to completely reinventing the mood and tone of a standard, and that is what she has. With a sensational voice, an ingenious approach to harmonies, and an extraordinary scat-singing skill, she could pull off not only slow tempo, but also upbeat numbers. The way she wraps her vocals around the groovy rhythm section on “Sometimes I’m Happy” proves that she is a versatile vocalist who could make an already fun tune even more invigorating.

Feeling down? The Puppini Sisters will guarantee to swing you up. They sure have shaken the morning blue out of me with their debut Bectha Bottom Dollar. I can’t help but laughed my head off when I heard their novelty rendition of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive.” They have flipped one of the mega disco hits from the 1970s like a pancake into an a-cappella swing with their light, syrupy, rounded vocals. It’s a sacrilegious what they have done to Louis Armstrong’s “Heebie Jeebies” and “Jeepers Creepers,” but fuck it. These British blondies are having a blast making you “Boogie Woogie” and that all it really matter.

Quang Ly’s Vong Am Song is my latest addiction. I’ve been coming back to the album like I need a fix. Quang Ly is an extraordinary interpreter. Just give him any tune and he’ll find his way into it. The high notes in Pho Duc Phuong’s “Ho Tren Nui” don’t seem to suit a male voice, but Quang Ly proved it could be done. Then his Bac Ninh accent on “Ngau Hung Giao Duyen” is so damn exotic that I almost fall for him like I fell for someone who refered to fireworks as “phao hoa” instead of my typical southern “phao bong.” Too bad, he’s already married. Musically, he’s still my man though. His rendition of Tran Tien’s “Que Nha” is a trip down to memory lane:

A oi… hoa bay len troi, cay chi o lai,
A oi… hoa cai len troi,
Rau ram o lai chiu loi dang cay.

Composer/guitarist/singer from Paris, Mong Trang, caught my ears with her sensuous rendition of Ngo Thuy Mien’s “Noi Dau Muon Mang.” Accompanied by her own simple picking guitar, you could feel the bittersweet pain in her voice as quickly as she starts off the first bar: “Mua roi la nuoc mat tinh da phai roi.” Her own composition, “Canh Hoa Dai,” is no less emotional.

I have no idea what Seattle rain is like, but Ella’s scatting over Joe Pass’s simple picking guitar tells it all. When it rains it brings back “That Old Feeling,” and that old feeling ain’t “Nothing But The Blues.” But don’t be too sentimental, you can still do the “Samba” while it rains. Oh Lord, Ella’s scat singing is killing me with her harmomic and rhythmic sensibilities. You’re the fucking man, TTBlue. Thanks for sharing these four delightful tracks from Again.

Damn, another Thuy Tien? Damn, another Trinh Cong Son album? Damn, another Xin Cho Toi? Despite her name has already been taken by two young popular singers, her album concept has already been recorded by numerous singers, and her album title has already been used by Cam Van, Thuy Tien brings a sweet sensation to Trinh’s music.

Like most Vietnamese singers, Thuy Tien doesn’t dare to ruffle Trinh’s compositions. She sings them the way they were written. What makes her performances stand out, however, is her so-beautiful-it-hurts voice. On the title track she soars like a dove with a broken wing begging for peace over a fine and mellow keyboard companion. On “Mot Lan Thoang Co” her vocals float like chill wind around the cascading piano ostinato. The rhythm section also added a subtle mysteriousness into the tune. The best part is on the break where the violin saws along her vocalization creating an enticing effect.

While her delivery on “Doi Cho Ta The” is free and effortless weaving in and out of the fun strumming guitar and lively plucking bass, she performs “Hay Cu Vui Nhu Moi Ngay” as if she is forcing herself to enjoy life. Her stilted flow comes across as if it is still raining inside even though the sun has shined. The album offers no novelty, but rather another fresh voice on Trinh’s work.