My Lovable Xuânshine

Of course I have nothing but love for my four boys, but I sympathize with Xuân. It doesn’t mean that I am favoring him. I just know all my kids strengths and weaknesses.

Without a doubt, Xuân is physically strong. He’s athletic. He’s the only one in the family who competes in swimming. He has no fear riding the scooter at the skateparks. He is a hell of a skier. He makes tremendous progress on snowboarding this season. He eats well and grows fast.

In contrast to his strong physical, his emotion is weak. He lets people’s words get to him. Đạo and Đán seized on his vulnerability and they attacked verbally every chance they got. Even when I told them to stop, they wouldn’t. That was when I exploded and they accused me of favoritism. They could call me whatever they wanted, but I couldn’t just stand by and let them berate their younger brother to tears.

Even little Vương picked on Xuân. When Vương got mad, he would hit his older brother, but Xuân never hit his younger brother back. I wouldn’t want Xuân to hit Vương back either, but my heart hurt for Xuân.

Last Saturday, the three of us went riding together. Vương skied down to the lift first. Then Xuân snowboarded down and pulled a brake. He sprayed some snow on Vương. Vương got mad and hit his forehead with his pole. When I snowboarded down, I saw Xuân holding his head in the snow and crying. I was so mad. Vương could have poked Xuân’s eye with his pole. I yelled at Vương. He got mad and decided to ski back to the base himself. I let him go alone.

I don’t know how Xuân is doing in school when I am not around. I hope he can defend himself. Better yet, I hope he doesn’t let other people’s words get to him. Whenever I am not with my kids. I think about them a lot, especially Xuân. I hope one day his brothers will understand him, love him, care for him, and protect him. That’s what brotherhood is all about.