Every time the phone rings, my heart sinks. Every time I wake up, I get a chill all over my body. Every time I see her silk shirt hanging on her dresser, I cry. I am going through the darkest time of my life. I am horrified and I don’t know if I can pull it through. I am supposed to be strong, but I am not.
The thoughts of losing her scare me. This is the woman who devoted her entire life to me. At the critical moment of her life, what can I do for her? Am I making the right decision for her? Does she understand the seriousness of her conditions?
The past week has been hell, especially the past two days. I sobbed like I have never been sobbed before. Fortunately, I have dear friends and family members I can reach out to help me make my decision for my mom. It had been a daunting task, but it helped me see thing from a different perspective. The trauma has yet to end, but at least I can live with the outcome.