Letter to My Sons #10

Dear sons,

In this tenth letter, I would like to address being uncomfortable—something you will face again and again in your life. If you ever feel uncomfortable, you can refer to this letter and you can always talk to us. I will share my own experience so that you know you won’t be alone.

As a husband and a father, I strive to give us a comfortable life, but I thrive under uncomfortable conditions. Paradox, isn’t it? Whether in my professional career or in my personal life, I don’t let myself become comfortable. If I become comfortable with my job, I would need a new challenge. If I become comfortable with my personal life, I would get bored—your mom always pushes my comfort level and I love her for it.

For me, being comfortable is easy. As long as I keep my thoughts and feelings to myself, I can make everything seems comfortable. Deep down, however, I am just avoiding uncomfortable feelings and I ended up making myself miserable. As a result, I often use my blog to express my uncomfortable feelings. I had made many people feel uncomfortable in both professional and personal settings. I felt bad and extremely uncomfortable, but I have learned that being uncomfortable made me face the truth. I can no longer hide my uncomfortable feelings. I had to deal with it head on and being uncomfortable helped move our relationships from negative to positive.

Your mom and I had many uncomfortable conversations and our marriage is strong not based on how comfortable we are with each other, but how we worked out our uncomfortable issues. She pointed out uncomfortable truths about me and they hurt, but I know they come from a place of love. If you find someone who isn’t afraid to tell you the uncomfortable truths, that’s real love.

I can’t wait until the day that we can watch stand-up comedy together. One of the reasons I love comedy is that it takes uncomfortable issues and make them funny. Great comedians can make you laugh and feel uncomfortable at the same time. It is an art form that I enjoy and respect.

Being uncomfortable will push you forward. Once you get past the uncomfortable zone, you will feel a whole lot better. You will get into more uncomfortable situations in the future, but you will be more equipped to deal with them. A comfortable life is good, but an uncomfortable life has the potential to turn great.